Whether you are mums returning to work in your pre-baby role, looking for alternative more child-friendly work or starting your own business, you will find these tips very helpful. They are based on NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and on the premise therefore that how we think, our beliefs and values, affects what we say and do. Most of the time we get the results we want but when we don’t we need to do something different. Flexibility is key to making different choices. Be curious about whether these tips will work for you to get the results you want.
1) What beliefs do you have about going back to work/starting a business or whatever you are thinking of doing? Where do these beliefs come from? Are they working for you or against you? If your current beliefs about being a mummy are not helpful, rethink them. Maybe a new belief will suit your current circumstances better. Beliefs are not values; after all, you don’t believe in Father Christmas any more I suspect!
2) Who are you? After having a baby our identity shifts and we become a ‘mummy’ and sometimes that work identity gets lost for a while. You may need to ask yourself the question “Who am I when I am a working person?” and recall all the skills and strengths you have with that identity. Make a list to remind yourself of all the resources you have.
3) Are you visual, auditory or kinaesthetic? Do you think in images, sounds or action? Now is a great opportunity to rethink what you want to do in your working life. Set some goals and a compelling vision for the work you’d like to do.
4) Visions and goals need to be worded in the positive and state what you do want not what you don’t want. Visualise yourself doing what you feel passionate about.
5) Self-esteem often plummets after you’ve had a baby so build it up by thinking about all the things you do well and what that means you can also do well, the skills you have that enable you to do it well and how else you could use these skills in a work context. It will help to also add those things that other people say you do well.
6) If you spot it you’ve got it. As mummies we often admire other mummies and compare ourselves with them, often unfavourably. Whatever you notice in another mummy, you also have; that’s how you are able to recognise it. So when you admire someone else’s skill ask yourself “and how do I also have this skill?” maybe it’s not identical but you will have the structure of that skill.
7) Avoid words like ‘should’ and ‘can’t’, ‘but’ and ‘try’ they are all limiting beliefs so challenge them by saying “and what if I could?” Just DO IT!
Judy Bartkowiak is the author of Teach Yourself: Be a happier parent with NLP (Hodder Education) and the Engaging NLP series of workbooks including NLP for New Mums and NLP for Back to Work, NLP for Children, NLP for Parents, NLP for Teachers and NLP for Teens. You can buy her books at www.nlpandkidsbooks.com where you can also arrange an NLP FREE CHAT and NLP Consultation via SKYPE. Like her Facebook Page for exchanging views on parenting using NLP.