FREE – FIRST CHAPTER OF ‘BE A HAPPIER PARENT’
Email me at judy@nlpkids.com
I will send you a copy of the first chapter completely FREE
Here’s a copy of the contents page
Part 1 – Basic NLP principles
1. Introduction to NLP – what is NLP, ground rules, Modelling and why NLP is great for your children
2. Identity – who am I? What do I want? Questionnaire What does it all mean?
3. Communicating – Achieving the desired response, rapport, negotiating skills, giving and receiving support, embracing change
4. Time Management – valuing your time, prioritizing, coping with guilt, ‘me’ time, delegating
Part 2 – Applying NLP at home
5. Lack of confidence – coping with fear of failure, not being a good mother, embarrassment, Envy, Knowing your strengths, giving your child confidence, supporting schoolwork, friends
6. Guilty feelings – not enough time for the children, children not eating well, coping with fear and anxiety
7. Coping with change – going back to work, not going back to work, stay at home dad, then there were two, moving house, changing schools, divorce/separation/illness/death, death of a pet
8. Coping with conflict – sibling rivalry, bullying, disobedience, jealousy and anger, internal conflicts, pester power
9. Teenagers – communicating with your teenager, teaching teenagers to be streetwise, sexual issues
You can buy my book direct from me for the RRP of £9.99 or $15 using PayPal and I will pay the postage but you will need to email me for the PayPal address judy@nlpkids.com Let me know if you’d like me to sign it for you!
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Kids NLP Workshops
Half term week 13th – 17th 10am-12am I shall be running small group sessions with children to introduce them to some of the basic NLP skills and principles around
- ‘I can’t!’ challenging limiting beliefs and fears
- Focusing on what works and being solution focused
- Having compelling outcomes – positive thinking and reframing, using feedback as learning
The cost is £12 per session including a copy of NLP for Children or NLP for Teens.
Location is Burnham, Bucks
Call 01628 660618 to book
Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are for children 7-11yrs
Wednesday and Friday for children aged 12-15yrs
Read MoreSpecial offers on my books!
All my Engaging NLP books are for sale on this site for £4.99 plus P&P which is £2 less than the recommended retail price and less than the price on Amazon CLICK HERE to take a look.
I wrote these after writing Teach Yourself : Be a happier parent with NLP because I felt there was a need for more of a workbook style of NLP book aimed at specific needs
Parents
Children
Teachers
Teenagers
New Mums
Back to Work
They are all quick reads for busy people who want to know how they can use NLP in their lives to tackle the sort of issues they have. The books are illustrated and offer helpful exercises you can do using the NLP techniques. Each exercise gives instructions and space to write down your thoughts.
The children’s book NLP for children is for you and your child to work through together. The ideal age for this is for a child aged about 4-11yrs and obviously a child aged 9-11yr can read and use the book on their own.
The teenage book is written for them to use to address issues they have around school or Uni, work, getting a job, peer group pressure, relationships and so on.
The Back to Work book is perfect for mums thinking about whether to go back to work or not or consider other options such as working freelance, starting their own business or taking on activities which may in time become businesses.
New Mums covers everything connected with pregnancy, childbirth and those early months giving you ways to manage tiredness, stress and the roller coaster of emotions we get at this time. I remember it well!
They are called Engaging NLP because they are workbooks and I want you to engage with them, use them and learn from them in a way I don’t feel existing NLP books can be used. Indeed the Teach Yourself book packed full as it is with everything you could possibly encounter as a parent, is a solid read and not a workbook despite it having exercises in it.
As well as being a mum of 4 children (now aged 11, 19, 22 and 23) and a former teacher, I am a Master Practitioner in NLP and a Trainer. I run workshops and offer NLP coaching on a one to one basis either face to face or via SKYPE or phone but I believe that by reading my books you will find the help you are looking for. If you still need some support please call me (01628 660618 or 00 44 1628 660618) or email me (judy@nlpkids.com) or contact me via the contact form because the reason I write the books and work with children and teenagers (and their parents) is because I care and I want to empower you to be happier parents and for your children to have the skills at their fingertips to be happier children.
NLP has long been used in the workplace but I feel that it is an essential parenting tool because being a parent is, I believe, the most important role we have in life. What we do and say, how we behave and the beliefs we pass on to our children make an enormous impact. They are constantly changing as are we as we learn and experience new things. These books are there for you , to help you in this important role. If I can help you further just get in touch. I don’t charge for a quick phone call or email you know!
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Special offer on Engaging NLP books!
Click this LINK to take you to my bookshop where today you can buy all 6 Engaging NLP workbooks for £35 or its equivalent in your own currency.
The books are
NLP for Parents
NLP for Children
NLP for Teens
NLP for Teachers
NLP for New Mums
NLP for Back to Work (or setting up a business)
If you would prefer another book such as NLP for the 11+ or NLP for Young Drivers instead of any of these books as long as you order 6 and tell me which you want when you pay using PayPal or a Credit Card thenthe offer price of £35 still applies.
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Top 10 things you can do differently in 2012 to get the results you want with your children
- Focus your attention on what they do well.
What we focus on is what we get more of. Children need attention from you so give them attention when they do something well and they learn to do that thing more often as it gives them positive attention.
- Use a feedback sandwich.
When you want a change in behaviour comment first on what you like about them, then suggest what would be even better (what you’d like to see more of or less of) and finish on a good note; overall what you are pleased about.
- Tell them what you do want.
Using the word ‘don’t’ draws attention to what you don’t want them to do. Instead reword the instruction telling them what you want them to do.
- Avoid the word ‘try’ as it suggests they won’t succeed.
Just tell them to do it!
- Show them the behaviour you want.
Demonstrate by example how you want your child to behave. They learn from you!
- Keep your tone low and slow.
The more out of control you sound, the more they will tune out.
- Ask them what they think they should do.
Encourage them to work things out for themselves and be resourceful then use the feedback sandwich.
- Step into their shoes.
A child’s world is very different from ours. They are not deliberately being difficult they simply see things in a different way. Understand that way and you’ll have to key to influencing them.
- Be specific about feedback.
When commenting on what your child has done well, point out the specific skill or quality so they learn from the feedback rather than generalising.
- Decide whether they use a visual, auditory or kinaesthetic preference and match it.
Children have a preference whether they notice what they see, hear or do. Adapt your choice of words to match this and you will connect and communicate effectively.
Judy Bartkowiak is the author of Teach Yourself: Be a happier parent with NLP and the Engaging NLP series of workbooks. They are available on her website www.nlpkids.co.uk . Book an appointment on 01628 660618
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Are you using TOXIC words without realising it?
Be a happier parent with NLP
Neuro Linguistic Programming is the study of the way what we think (neuro) what we say (linguistic) and what we do (programming) affects the results we get in life; whether that be at work or at play. A core principle of NLP is:
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
What this means is that if you want a different result, a better one, then you need to change what you think, say and do. You cannot change your babies and toddlers but by making small changes yourself they will respond differently. So let’s take a look at some of the ways you can do this.
TOXIC WORDS
Don’t think about pink elephants!
What are you doing right now?
Yes you are thinking about pink elephants! You can’t help it. In order to process the instruction “don’t think about pink elephants” you have to think of a pink elephant so you know what it is you are not supposed to be doing.
This is what children do. When you say “Don’t fall!” or “Don’t drop that!” what happens?
It’s called an ‘embedded command’. You’ve put the idea into their head to fall or drop something. You didn’t do it deliberately. In fact what you actually meant was “Watch how you go” or “Be careful” and by changing what you say and using a positive embedded command you will get the desired result. Tell them what you Do want not what you DON’T want.
Your children are fighting and you say “Don’t hurt each other!” They hear “hurt each other” and carry on. Instead tell them what you do want them to do “Stop fighting!”
Think about it. All day long we use the ‘don’t’ word. “Don’t interrupt me when I’m on the phone”, “Don’t pull faces”, “Don’t annoy me”, “Don’t eat any more sweets”.
Tell them what you DO want.
Another toxic word is IF.
‘If’ implies they have a choice. They don’t. For example ‘If you eat your vegetables, you can have a pudding”, “If you go to bed nicely for me you can stay up another half an hour”, “If you are good you can have a sweet.” In these sorts of situations you aren’t offering them a choice. You want them to do what you’ve asked. Not doing it isn’t an option is it? So, use an embedded command here. Assume they will do what you’ve asked by saying instead “When you’ve eaten your vegetables you can have pudding” or “When you are good you can have a sweet.” You are giving them the benefit of the doubt and telling them what will happen when they’ve done what you asked.
How often do you use the word ‘try’?
Try implies that you won’t succeed, that you don’t expect them to succeed.
“Try and eat up your vegetables”, “Try and be good”, “Try and do what you’re told for once” I’m sure we all use the ‘try’ word with our toddlers. We use it with ourselves too, don’t we? Our inner voice tells us “Try and stay calm”, “Try not to lose your temper”. Delete the word ‘try’ and you get an instruction that is clear and unambiguous. They have no choice, they are simply to eat up their vegetables or be good. There is an expectation that they will be able to do that because you have assumed it in your instruction. It’s the same with your own inner self-talk.
Instead of just ‘trying’ – DO IT!
There is a lot more to NLP than a few toxic words and you can read how NLP will make you a happier parent by buying my book ‘Teach Yourself: Be a happier parent with NLP’ and the Engaging NLP series of workbooks for parents, teens, new mums, children, teachers and mums returning to work or setting up their own business. They are all available from http://www.nlpkids.co.uk or Amazon and other bookshops. Join the Facebook Group NLP Kids or ‘like’ the Engaging NLP Facebook page to share NLP parenting ideas with other mums. For Skype or telephone consultations call 00 44 1628 660618
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